scott

Scott visited me in my dreams last night.

I rarely remember what I dream—perhaps once a year or something—so it’s nice that it’s Scott I remember. Actually, the dream woke me up. It was just after 5:00, but I couldn’t go back to sleep.

In any case, Scott came to see me. He laughed and joked in my office at work, showed me something he was working on, and then walked out the door and down the hall. His hair was longer than it was recently, more like he wore it in high school. I don’t remember how he was dressed. I liked the art he showed me, a little animation, and would like to try and recreate it, as much as possible. It’s like a little gift from him, a parting shot of creativity.

I still feel so tight, so controlled (only just barely). I know I need to let go, to cry or whatever—to process. I just haven’t found the space or time, haven’t let myself go. And I just can’t believe he’s gone. Even just thinking that phrase and panic wells up inside me.

I miss him. I still can’t say goodbye.

- posted 11 December 2003 in

Comments

Michael Busick, Dec 12, 08:31 AM:
Wow. Cool story. Of course, with the way my luck is going these days, my dream about Scott will involve one of us yelling, "Those aren't pillows!" :)
Tim, Dec 12, 09:46 AM:
I also had a strange dream this morning that involved Scott, but less overtly; I don't recall very much of it, but there was a highway with a sign noting an exit for "Planet Scott" approaching, followed by a billboard with Scott's goofy smile on it.
Michael Busick, Dec 12, 05:06 PM:
I had an idea a few days ago for another kind of Scott remembrance. Have a star registered under the name of "Planet Scott" so we would always somewhere to point or look to when we're looking up and thinking about him. I believe the official site makes it possible for $54 or something like that. Don't know who would get the certificate...maybe Tom would. We'd all the have the coordinates, though.
Ciam, Dec 12, 09:53 PM:
Jo had a star registered for me for St. Valentine's day. I could find out what the site was from her. It wouldn't really be Planet Scott then, though--rather, Star Scott or somthine. Anyway, I think it's a fun idea.
Brett, Dec 13, 02:35 AM:
I may be wrong, but theoretically, most stars have satellites of one kind of another. We could name the star with the thought that Planet Scott orbits around it. (smile)
Michael Busick, Dec 15, 01:30 AM:
It's going to be ours, so we can name whatever the hell we want. :) No one needs to tell me the difference between a star and a planet, but I like the way Brett's thinking. Check out the big brain on Brett!

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